Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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