Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
