very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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