Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Can i not drive my cunt home
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
