I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
