I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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