wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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