He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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