have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
