2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
