i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize