you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
