She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have fence marks all over my body
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
