Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
