I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
