That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
