The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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