dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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