My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
