But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
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Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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