bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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