You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
