I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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