I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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