3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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