no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
