Will you blow on my dice?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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