I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
