i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
