her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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