you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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