So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
