Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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