Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
