You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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