oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
