You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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