i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
