If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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