i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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