Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
