I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
