Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
