I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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