Having a random hookup so left but love u
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So much rum. So many feels.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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