he was CRYING into my vagina
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize