y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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