Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
