Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
