I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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