You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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