i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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