he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i will never coherently bang her
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize