If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
time to smoke my breakfast
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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