Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize