I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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