his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
