i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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