I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
