did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
