i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
