Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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