rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
