Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
